April 2010
1 post
reblog this & you'll see
melancholicmind:
zer0requiem:
tokilee:
tucker-:
(via mercedesbrown)
HOW DO YOU DO IT OH MY GOD
LMAO
whot XDD
Oh wow I love this!!!
January 2010
1 post
Good-Bye!!!
Farewell 2009! You have been both wonderful and hurtful to me. From losing friends to making new ones, expanding my heart to having it broken, endless hours in front of a computer screen fighting deadlines, taking away the remainder of my childhood and handing me the the puzzle pieces that put together my adulthood. I will miss you for the school lunchtimes with countless close friends that I will...
December 2009
4 posts
The average person laughs 15 times a day.
(via elliven)
I think mt average is much higher hahaha- which i believe is a good thing
Official Schoolies Song:
mellxbestthingsinceslicedbread:
Tick Tock (Feat P. Diddy) - Kesha
WOH! yes, this song was going off constantly!
November 2009
120 posts
Lita-Maree says:
SUBMARINE!!! they can withstand a heap of impact especially navy ones
Lachlan says:
it would have a very large fuel consumption AND if this happened it would be mob rule, i doubt we could walk in to a navy base and say 'hey can i have that one thx lol
Lita-Maree says:
yer well why dont we say we have been thinking about this for more years then they know, we are basically experts they will want us onboard
Lachlan says:
i dont think they would care to be honest
it would be just an extra mouth to feed
Lita-Maree says:
they should care- we are going to save their lives
Lachlan says:
they wont see it that way
Lita-Maree says:
what if i get my tits out?
Lachlan says:
probably wont work, we are talking about the navy here
Lita-Maree says:
Well maybe you should get your tits out?
Bree + Craig = Formal 2010
fuckthesystem:
NAWWW.
haha like X 1000000000000
I made a funny guys!
So William was up at man arts today for some unknown reason and he had his steelcaps on, so I decided that I would stand on them just to see if they worked:
Me: Am I heavy?
Him: No, I can’t feel you at all.
Me: Haha that’s what she said!
DOING THIS!!!
Today, my flight was delayed and I started running up the down escalator. I saw a security guard coming, and I thought I would get in trouble, but then he started jumping down the up escalator. We high-fived as we passed each other. MLIA
Made my night- hahaha
My Friend: Hey
Me: Hey lovely, how are you?
My Friend: Good, i just wanted to say goodnight.
My Friend: Good night
Today I was babysitting this 2 year old girl and she was demanding that she had a glass of water with her at bed. When I told her she had to use the magic words (meaning please and thank you) she sighed and said “wingardium leviosa”. I couldn’t refuse her after that.
“And so you see kids. Procrastination is like masturbation. In the end...”
WOH!!! I really really wish my parents had of done...
Today, I bought a fancy new black SUV Hummer. When I went to pick up my son from school, I put on a black suit, dark shades, and my blue-tooth earpiece. I waltzed into his last period class 10 minutes before it was over, and announced “Agent 03, It’s time to go” At which point he nodded and packed his belongings and ran out. The face on his teacher was priceless. I hope my boss...
Today, we cheked into a hotel. On the elevator I pushed all the buttons. My dad and sister tried to push me out on every floor. I purposely let them push me out on our floor. I have the only room key. I win MLIA
Lachlan this is something you will say to your...
lachylan:
lita006:
Today, I asked my dad to make me a milkshake. He told me to make one myself. I responded that I didn’t know how to make a good milkshake. He’s responce? “Well, that’s why your single. No boys ever come to our yard.” MLIA.
I don’t see how I came into this situation.
Because you are always like bitch make me a sandwich, and Lita, about time you and Alvin got engaged- I...
1) make a fist with your left hand, with your left...
melancholicmind:
thingsgohazy:
loveyourchaos:
confettiandballoons:
onlyafterdisaster:
yerawizardharry:
sisterspock:
(via echeverria)
This is fucking cool.
HOLY SHIFT.
That is so weird. And my gag reflex is TERRIBLE.
SO WEIRD!
i just shoved my finger all the way down my throat and scratched it. now i can’t stop coughing. but this is so cool.
Didn’t work :( my gag reflex...
Chemistry; may also be known as complete and utter...
Kitchen: Wait let me check how I did this.
*5 minutes*
Kitchen: Ok, I think I have to take this off the exam. There are concepts that I haven't taught you.
*1 minute*
Kitchen: Oh wait on, I didn't even read that. Oh, well it's easy then! Ok, so you just blah blah blah
*5 minutes*
Kitchen: Oh, actually I might have to change it after all. You guys don't know enough about stoichiometry. Yeah, I'll definitely have to change this. But it will be similar. Not quite, but kind of. Alright? Everyone cool with that?
Class: ...?!?!
This is why I am so glad to have you Mel
Lita "Mel? Can you please wake me when she knows what is going on?"
Today, I received an research paper back from my history teacher. She had just told us a story about a teacher who only grades the first page of a student’s work and neglects to read the rest, and then made comments about how awful that was. Curious, I turned in my paper with a beautifully written first page with good structure, a well developed thesis, and advanced grammar. However, the...
Today, in class, my teacher was taking attendance when he threw me one of my tops, telling me that I forgot it the night before. The entire class was speechless. Little did they know, the teacher is my half brother and last night was the end of my weekend at Mom’s. MLIA.
Today, I brought up my winter clothes from the basement. I pulled out a pair of purple jeans and put them on. In the left pocket, I found a note that said, “In a year, when you’re broke, you will thank me for this.Try your other pocket.” In the right pocket, I found a $5 dollar bill. This brings my total number of owned dollars to 5. Thank you, pants of wisdom. MLIA.
Today, I slept for 12 hours into the afternoon. When I asked my mother why she hadn’t checked on me sooner, she replied, “I figured that if you had died in your sleep, there was nothing I could do about it.” Thanks, Mom. MLIA
Lachlan this is something you will say to your...
Today, I asked my dad to make me a milkshake. He told me to make one myself. I responded that I didn’t know how to make a good milkshake. He’s responce? “Well, that’s why your single. No boys ever come to our yard.” MLIA.
Today I got a toothbrush at the 99 cent store that sings Hakuna Matata for the amount of time that one should brush their teeth. I’ve never been so excited to brush my teeth before. 99 cents well spent. MLIA
Today I had to take my computer back to BestBuy because there was something wrong with it. The person who was trying to fix it asked me my password to my username to get on. Embarrassed, I mumbled “harryjamespotter.” He looked at me and said “mine is ronweasleyrocks.” MLIA
snow white
Today, while working at my job as the keeper for the lorikeet exhibit at the zoo, I got very bored and began singing to myself. The second I did, 5 birds flew to me and landed across my arms. The little girl who saw this immediately ran to her mom and yelled “You SEE?? Snow White IS real!!!” and pointed at me. Best moment of my life. MLIA
Today, my mom had her 1st baby girl. my family already consists of 6 boys. I just realized that my family exactly parallels the Weasleys. I have never been so happy. MLIA.
Today, I had to walk through a dodgy part of town at night, and passed a prostitute. I’m a rugby player and I was wearing my jersey, she asked “Hey big boy, you play sports?” I didn’t want any part of her, but wanting to be polite, I responded “Yeah, I play for my university rugby team, I’m the hooker.” After realizing what I just said, I awkwardly walked...
this makes me feel better about uni
Today, I decided to put an extra credit question on my students’ test: “What weighs more: one pound of butter or one pound of feathers?” Half of the class got it wrong-I teach at a college. MLIA
Today, My friend asked for some gum so I gave her a piece. She proceeded to sarcastically say how it was the best thing she has ever had in her mouth. The shy kid who sits behind her then says, “I can change that”. Guess who got a high five and the rest of my gum? MLIA
Today during Religious Education at school I told my teacher I didn’t believe in God because I prayed for almost a whole year that I would get a bike last Christmas, and did not get a bike. He replied “Silly boy, your doing it wrong. You don’t ask for a bike, you steal one then ask for forgiveness.” Hello new favourite teacher. MLIA
Today I tried number 153 of 333 ways to be kicked out of Wal-Mart. It said to scream in pain until someone comes along and asks what’s wrong then act as if nothing happened. I live where there are no wal-marts so I went to Woolworth’s and tried it. As my head was in my hands and I was screaming someone came up behind me and said ‘This isn’t wal-mart.’ Patted my...
Today, our teacher split our class into random groups, I was put in a group with mostly guys and one girl. One cocky guy was showing off to his friends and asked the girl “As a female, what’s it like having a vagina?” to which she replied “You tell me”. The teacher gave her skittles. MLIA.
Today, I was at a theatre meeting in my school’s auditorium. I came across a couple of guys I didnt know and proceeded to greet them by their names. Freaked out, they then made me say the name of every person that walked by. They still havent realized that we are all wearing nametags. MLIA
Slave??? OMG funny
Today, my friend was talking about a calculator he wanted. He couldn’t think of the word “calculator”, though, so he said, “I want one of those black things that does stuff for me.” Almost immediately, a shy kid in the back says, “What? A slave?” I still haven’t calmed down. MLIA
Today I cut my leg on a chair at school and got blood on my pants. At least six of my friends came up to me and told me seriously that I had gotten my period, and one gave me a tampon. I’m a 15 year old guy… who goes to an all guys school… who is still wondering where Bobby got that tampon. MLIA.
Want to do this!!!
The other day I read a story on MLIA about how you could mail a banana by just sticking it in the mailbox with a stamp and an address on it. Having nothing else to do as a bored college student I tried this. My best friend has now been calling me everyday for the past 5 days to inform me that every afternoon when the mail comes a banana ends up in his mailbox. I haven’t been putting a a...
A few months ago I told my friend I hated the letter E. I didn’t have a reason why I just did not like it. For my birthday he got me a book that had the front and back covers torn off. Today, when I finished the book I went to him and said something seems weird about this book. He handed me the front cover. The book was tittled “Gadsby: A Story of Over 50,000 Words Without Using the...
Today, my English teacher told us we had to write an essay on what we wanted to be when we were little. Most of the girls wrote Princesses,and most of the boys wrote race-car drivers. I was looking through my diary when I was 6…apparently I wanted to marry Big Bird, raise an army of mutant gummy worms, and take over Candyland. I got 100% and a Pokèmon sticker. MLIA
Today, a customer by the name of Victor Krumm called my work. Hesitantly, I asked him if he was familiar with Harry Potter. There was a pause, then he said in a worried, hushed tone, “Damn! The muggles know!” And hung up. I still don’t know what he was calling for originally. MLIA.
Today, I was called to the main office. They said I had a family emergency and that I was given permission to go home by my mother. When I got home, I called her right away to see what was going on. She told me she forgot to harvest her strawberries on Farmville and she wants me to harvest them before they die. I was too late. MLIA.
A while ago I introduced my father to my first boyfriend. The only thing my dad said to him was “If you hurt my daughter, remember I have a shovel and woods. No one will find the body.” Several months later, he broke up with me. Today, my dad and I were at Home Depot buying a shovel. my ex saw us, and my dad pointed to the shovel. The look on my ex’s face was priceless. MLIA
Today, I was trying to print my english homework. It wouldn’t print so I took my laptop into my mom’s home office. The fifth time I clicked the print button the the printer started working. I picked up the paper to see written on it, “Emma, I am your printer. You must talk to me nicely. Or else I won’t print for you.” I was terrified for about four seconds until I...
Today I was at the drugstore when I saw a pregnancy test with a sign that said “Now made just for women!”. Thanks for clearing that up CVS. MLIA.
Today, I asked my class of 2nd graders why they thought Obama was elected president. Most of the answers I got were things like because he is a good president and because he will help the U.S. One boy raised his hand and said, “Because he’s part Kenyan - they always win the race.” New favorite student? I think so. MLIA